The real message of confidence isn't that it helps you get girls. In fact it doesn't. It's often told to people who can't. But the real message is to be self esteem independent from girls. In reality it doesn't work on the "helping yourself to get girls" competitive arena. It just teaches you to not give a fuck/ be naive to the hierarchies/ pecking orders/ systems of rank in the world. To never turn on your relational self worth and sync your bad inner voices with all of the things you lack in life. It teaches you to put your sense of reality asleep, and engage in a loose/ lax/ overly lenient ideality. The normie standards of ettiquette in life don't want you to look at things in terms of competition/ alpha vs beta, etc. They want everything to be like a daycare where everyone gets muffins after they're finished. And if you bring up that the world has always been a competitive battlefield, you meet rapid raging snowflakery from rainbow braiders who want everything to be in a happy (false) light. Life doesn't have lightness. Confidence doesn't really help except in the small minority of women who judge men based on character. But that's usually because they're homely and or living boring lives with no one with any clever charisma. Asian women/ black women laugh at jokes with even the smallest tint of sarcasm. Because they come from a boring part of the world with a scarcity mentality. You can be an autist and pick a girl up with mediocre level wit if she is like one of those girls.
But they are trying to tell them in a way to have a self esteem which is independent from external approval. If they had a chance for external approval they would probably be told something different. Something which actually gives strategic advantage. But if you have low strategic advantage, that they feel can't be helped or aided in any way with success, confidence is the message that bails the person out of giving genuine advice/ to be blamed for the failure of being unable to attract girls. It's a lie used to lull them into stupidity and complacency by acting like a proud idiot and building the habit to only look to yourself for assurance. Even though that's utterly retarded. To give yourself the authority on your own value/ not your personal stance in the spectrums/ standards of the external. It's delusional and vain imo. For lazy people. Insecurity is honest. And we are not so valuable that we should be above indicators of inferiority. We should gain power/ self improvement from things that indicate our lack of value. Not tell them that they are unworthy of our consideration. Then we are weak, proud, vain, and think that only things that serve us at our current value level and flatter us are worthy of consideration. It's a weakness of conceit and it disgusts me. Sure, it can provide an interesting halo effect when you see an incel who is outcome independent and is his own winner. That can provide at least those who have a more lacking life experience of people with conviction in their lives with the desire to have the personality stimulus of someone strong. But that is a minority of women who have that criteria of intimacy. And men would rather get bitches from raw attraction (because it gives them the pride/ happiness of their primal ideal identity having leverage over others).
There is a deep state of mankind to want to be universally recognized and valued/ feared/ considered monumentous in grandiosity. We want to meet the trials of life/ victory/ make it through that kind of platform.
If you always base your personal confidence/ sense of self worth on what you tell yourself/ selective stimulus, as opposed to outward indications, then you very may likely end up living in self serving delusion and lack of growth.
Confidence is emboldened stupidity. Being insecure/ self conscious is what even chads are internally. A lot of successful people aren't as confident as what that "be confident" platitude alludes to. Without the LMS, power, social influence, charisma to have the frontrunning dominance over other men, it's not going to help. It's a non factor for most women. And the real confidence that tantalizes them is abstracted from the way they look, are, live, exist, with being superior to others.
“I could show fight on natural selection having done and doing more for the progress of civilization than you seem inclined to admit. Remember what risk the nations of Europe ran, not so many centuries ago of being overwhelmed by the Turks, and how ridiculous such an idea now is! The more civilised so-called Caucasian races have beaten the Turkish hollow in the struggle for existence. Looking to the world at no very distant date, what an endless number of the lower races will have been eliminated by the higher civilized races throughout the world.”
― Charles Darwin