Any ideas? I have aspergers and I thought I would find like minded people here. I'm pretty sure a lot of people here think of suicide and we could talk about it here. IF I'd go on other sites, I am sure people would tell me to not do it but this is prolly the only forum I know of that might just be able to help me and encourage me which is what I need right now.
ways I've thought of leaving this world and my thoughts on them
One is a little public but the other is a bit private.
1. Going ER -> I don't really care much about hurting other people though it would feel REALLY GOOD hurting some specific people but I don't really want to hurt them for the sake of hurting them, I would only do that if I thought it would give me some validation but I now realise that thinking that your social life will transform rapidly if you are violent is ASPIE thinking. This might get me known as the hot murderer cause I'm pretty attractive. But what good would it be since I'd be dead and no longer conscious? And IF I want validation I can just eye-fuck a women and I'll get it cause I'm that attractive. But I don't want validation anymore, I don't want sex either. I want a rich women who will provide for me and take care of me so I will have 0 zero responsibility because in my country you don't have welfare so my I can't not WORK. Though come to think of it, my dad is semi-rich but he's an asshole(ASPIE aswell so he comes off as asshole a lot). His business is pretty much self-running and I could live off it for the rest of my life in my country. Now that I'm thinking of this I'm realising that I could manage something. But I don't want to live in my home country, I want to live in the US and for that I'll need way more cash. I realise I'm not being coherent, but should I get my dad to sign a will giving me everything he owns and then kill him somehow but make it appear like a suicide. I know I seem pretty sociopathic with this but I don't think I'll end up following this through because inside I am a really nice guy(trust me).
2. Gunshot to head -> Seems like the quickest way to end my life but I don't really own a gun though I THINK my father has one and he keeps it locked up. And my family knows I have some mental issue so I can't really ask them if we own a gun or where we keep it because I think it will sound really obvious. And the gunshot might alert neighbours and security so my family might draw attention which I want to avoid but now that I am thinking of this, it would sound really awesome letting them suffer a little for their faults. I will have to think of a place where I do this. I was thinking maybe a friend's house? Who used to bully me, tease, abuse, manipulate and use me. But I don't want him to draw negative attention and LET MY PARENTS THINK THAT I'm killing myself because of "bad" friends. That would just confirm their suspicions. But if I survive I'll disfigure my really beautiful face and that is one thing I am proud of.
Other methods that I'll post my thoughts in detail about if anyone replies and is interested are or cares.
Overdosing on sleeping pills plus plastic bag over head -> Before I do this I'll Try every drug on the planet.
Cyanide -> seems like a really cheap but painful way to go
Getting caught having sex in public -> you can be killed for this in my country
Any other methods? I have a pretty high pain threshold because of my aspie-ness so pain is not an issue(hopefully). I dream of the nothingness that will be there after I die. What do you think happens after you die? Surely you aspies have thought about this? Personally, I was religious uptil 15 then I discovered that it's all bullshit(my aspie nature). If I was religious I could have made peace that I'll enjoy Heaven after I die. But my aspieness is a curse. And I can't tell anyone about losing my religion.
This is why: viewtopic.php?f=2&t=1036507