I took 47 out of 50 tabs. Now a heavy dose is 5 mg right. And these tabs were all .5mg each. I took 23.5 mg total. I cannot remember yesterday but apparently in between sleeping in a comatose state. I burned a pot on my stove black. Ordered spotify premium with paypal. And video chatted with girls online. I can't remember much else. But my parents arrived today and they told me last night I told them how I wanted to kill myself, how I fucked up my life with drugs and am addicted to drugs and how I dropped out of university and lied to them about it. My mother slapped my father all because of me. I also pissed the bed for some reason. I have only 3 tabs left and I am craving almost sick to my stomach for more benzos. I love benzos so much.
I can't remember anything from yesterday. I missed work and woke up to about 7 or 8 missed calls.
Benzos and opiates are my new drugs of choice.
My father and mother forgave me somehow. And my dad broke down and cried when he saw me.
I really am a piece of shit person. My own mental problems and addictions are hurting my family but I don't care because I just feel so bad I just want to die every single day you know. I can't help feeling this way.
They took away my SSRIs as they thought thats what I meant by "drugs" I guess.
My father is giving me a lot of money for Christmas to hopefully get me to return to school but I want to spend it on benzos and opiates instead.
aka Sailor Jon from Halifax aka Milkman aka Wallace